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Has Grace Been Lost?

Has grace been lost within the city's limits?

In this primitive population hooked on humanities many stimulants,
Money, drugs, and lust thrust into the for front.
An abundance of redundance brought forth followers of this witch hunt.
In this rat race of distaste where the money pits a calling,
The over spending never ending keep the capitalistic skin crawling.
These modern day marauders bred new sons and daughters,
Who’s friends and family values are paid for with fallen forefathers.
Dead presidents with rights and resolutions;
Emancipation proclamations expansionism pushed prostitution.
Look within these sin driven sanctuaries.
These card board corporate cutouts conquered ethical obituaries.
A malevolent metropolis monopolized economists.
A system of cataclysms aimed at monetary persona fists.
We have been compromised...
Colonized by a government system who’s goal is for personal profit rise.
Its been prophesized, now I’m calling for all the saints to paint the city with simplicity,
With grace in God’s divinity.
So, has grace been lost?
Not so, since Christ already paid the cost.
It’s just that many are lost within prides pity...
But The Way, The Truth, and The Life has a plan to turn Sin into Saint City...
Where Grace Abounds!!

- Dusty Marshall

Rock Bottom?

God always has his hand in things.  It seems as though our “rock bottom” is really just a clean pallet for Him to load; it leaves him a blank canvas to paint His own perfect masterpiece.

In early March of this year, I had reached what seemed like a valley of darkness.  Within a two week period, I went from “having it all together” to feeling hopeless and distraught.  Until the end of February, I had a high paying job, a new home I’d just moved into, and my health.   On top of that, I had a wonderful boyfriend, family, and awesome God that loved me for me.   Turns out, all that I really needed was the support of my loved ones and God, during this huge, well-planned change He was making in my life. 

After having some serious health issues resulting in an emergency room visit on February 28th, I decided it was time to get health insurance.  My employer had offered it to me many times, but the thought of having my hard earned money taken out of my check to “pay for something I’ll never use” seemed ridiculous.  The kidney problems I was now experiencing left me unable to stand for prolonged periods of time, which meant I could no longer perform the duties of my job as a dice dealer at Binions.  After 11 days of bed rest, on March 11^th, my employer and I separated.  They called it a “termination”, I call it a blessing.  Of course, at the time, I had no other income, no savings, no health insurance, and a 1 year commitment to pay rent with 3 other people. 

While the drama o f losing my job was in full force, the severe kidney pain had continued, so I began a frantic search for health insurance.   I’ll admit it was a little late.  I had already accumulated about $5,000 in medical bills from the ER trip, and now was one of those “flagged” applicants at Blue Cross Blue Shield, who had a pre-existing condition.  Only by Gods grace and the help of my boyfriend was I able to get coverage.  It was a pretty expensive monthly premium though, especially for the not-so-great-coverage I was going to have.  None of my doctor visits, labs, or trips to the Emergency Room were going to be covered, until I hit an out of pocket cost of $3,500 from March 22^n, through the next 365 days. 

After putting my health on the back burner for so many years, I found a primary care Doctor, and saw him the day after my insurance kicked in.  Very carefully, I planned this visit.  As I knew my insurance wasn't going to cover anything, I wanted to make sure I was aware of exactly how much it was going to cost me.  Wanting several tests run, I got exact quotes on the cost for the tests and labs beforehand, and was sure to tell the doctor of all my issues I’d been having. 

Two weeks later, the tests all came back normal.  No one was able to explain exactly what was going on with my kidneys.  I’d been unemployed now for 4 weeks, but my loved ones were all able to help out with my cost of living.  Every bank, school, and private loan I applied for was denied.  I was calling Cox Cable, Nevada Energy, T-Mobile, Southwest Gas, and Capital One on a daily basis, pleading for longer extensions on my already WELL overdue payments.  Again, my loved ones offered support. 

Around week 6 of being unemployed, I started to notice a change in my health.  My kidney pain was minimal, my attitude toward life was becoming much more positive, and I found a part time job as a babysitter.  Although it was hard to make ends meet, I felt it was for the greater good that I no longer worked in the casino.  I’d spent many years of my life in addiction and my job as a “party pit” dealer had been taking me back to those thoughts and tendencies.  With my health and income increasing, and my sobriety and mentality becoming more wholesome, I felt as though things were on an upward turn.

Then, almost 2 months later, IT came in the mail.  IT was a bill from my primary care Doctor regarding my visit on March 23^rd.  My carefully planned visit was originally quoted to me at $195 for all the tests they were going to run.  I opened the envelope to see a grand total of $1200….MORE THAN 10 TIMES THE PRICE I WAS QUOTED BY THE STAFF.   I knew my insurance didn’t cover these labs that were run, THATS WHY I WAS SO INQUISITIVE OF THE COST IN THE FIRST PLACE!!  

 I HAD A MELT DOWN.  I tried everything.  I called the doctor’s office in tears, the lab company, and even scheduled an appointment with the doctor himself!  His explanation to me was simple, “I saw you had insurance, so I ran additional tests.” Nothing was ever done to correct this mistake.

After a couple of weeks, a lot of prayer, and the support of my loved ones, I had given it to God for HIM to deal with.  I allowed the stress of it all to melt away, as I knew my heavenly father was in control.  I figured there was no dollar price that could be attributed to the new changes in my life, as a result of leaving my toxic work environment.  If $1200 was what I needed to pay to leave such sin, count me in!

I decided once again that God always had his hand in things.  It seemed as though my “rock bottom” was really just a clean pallet for Him to load; it left him a blank canvas to paint His own perfect masterpiece.

Then, on July 15^th, IT came in the mail.  IT was a revised bill from my primary care Doctor regarding my visit on March 23^rd.  Somehow, the bill was now only $84..  My eyes welled with tears.  By the grace of only God himself, my insurance decided to cover what it wasn’t even supposed to cover!  My $1200 bill was reduced to $84. 

 Praise GOD!

Forethought:  Although there are other circumstances going on in my life RIGHT NOW  that make this medical bill issue seem like a grain of sand on an endless beach, I’ve come to this realization….   Someday, whatever issues I’m going through RIGHT NOW will, too, seem like a pebble on a vast mountain created by the Lord.  I cannot wait to see what is on the other side of this mountain!!

2 Peter 3:8  But do not overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.

It's a God Thing...

     Last Wednesday, I was at a wonderful church in North Las Vegas called Celebration.  Expecting to show up and hear a message, I was surprised when the main pastor switched things up by having the congregation spend the entire service in prayer and worship.  It was a very powerful evening for the whole congregation.  As worship music began radiating through the beams of light which quickly spread all across the room, many men and women lifted their hands high or were on their knees praising God. The Holy Spirit had engulfed our fellowship with glorious worship and praise.  There wasn’t a silent moment.  Each second was filled with worship, prayer, and even tears of joy. 

      I, however, couldn’t help but feel like the only person in the room clearing my throat, itching my arms, and peeking through squinted eyes in wonder of how everyone could be so unaware of their physical bodies, while I felt alone in my own skin.  I tried, oh how I tried, but as I was on my knees praying for God to reveal the source of the separation, I felt like there was a barrier between my body and spirit.  It was as if I was gasping for air. I was right there in the sea of God’s grace, and at the same time I felt like I was being held to the ground by an unrecognizable anchor. 

     “God, please help me hear you in this moment. Please show me what it is that is keeping me from experiencing what everyone around me seems to be inflamed by,” I desperately prayed.  I was so frustrated about having such a difficult time worshiping, when suddenly; it was as if I heard a faint whisper in my heart. It was a response to my prayer. “Look in your hand,” the voice said.   As I glanced down, I realized I had been clutching a cross necklace the whole time.  The necklace had been given to me by an old friend who was an atheist (non-believer).  She picked the souvenir up during a 3 week trip she made across Europe in 2008.  When she returned, she told me about all the partying she had been involved in.  She explained her many acts of debauchery and sin throughout the trip and then after presented me with the cross necklace.  I hadn’t really thought anything of it, until the very moment the voice spoke to me and I looked down to realize I had been clinging onto it the whole time.

     I felt a strong urge to take the necklace off! I took the chain in both hands and even lifted it halfway half way up the back of my head as to take it off, but in doing so I started to second guess myself about the whole thing.  “Why would GOD want me to remove a cross from my neck? Maybe it was the enemy at work trying to get me to remove it,” I said to myself.  So I left the jewelry on.  Just in case, I prayed, “In the Name of Jesus, I rebuke all ungodly ties bound to this cross.” Although I prayed, I still spent the rest of the time in worship and prayer with the same feeling of disconnection and confusion, praying for God to reveal to me the source of these feelings. 

     On the drive home, attributing the disconnection to hunger and exhaustion, I let the whole situation flee from my mind.  I figured if the necklace really had ties with ungodly things, my prayer for God to remove them was enough.

     When I got home, I decided to take the dog on a walk.   We weren’t outside for more than 2 minutes before he jumped up and literally yanked the chain right off my neck and then spit it out on the ground!  It took me 3 seconds to realize what had just gone down.  Coincidence?  Nah….

     Sometimes things happen in life that are so bizarre or perfectly timed that we wonder how it could be anything else but a GOD THING.  Most non-believers would say it was just another coincidence or it happened by chance.  But me, I don’t believe in coincidences.  Whether we end up sitting next to another Christian on the bus, run into an old friend at the grocery store, meet a homeless man that loves Jesus, have a dog destroy something that is not of God, or meet the love of our life on a dating website, we know these things are nothing short of a moment carefully planned by God.  It may be hard to see the big picture in the meaning of all of these pre-planned occurrences, but God knows, and when someone asks me about it I just tell them IT’S A GOD THING.   -KMK

Psalm 139: 13-16

“13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.  When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, 16 your eyes saw my unformed body.  All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”

Saint City

     Being born and raised in this city called Sin, I've never questioned what that meant for the people within it.  Yet I've more than survived through the trying times and strife of a family doing life here.  This city that markets, What Happens in Vegas STAYS in Vegas, gives off the idea of an atmosphere with forgetful times and toxic debauchery..  Sin City.  Its where strip clubs are marketed by size and quality of women, and Adult Superstores are as common as Walmarts and 7-11's.  Notorious for our windowless, clockless, casinos with paycheck cashing counters, childcare, and champagne brunches.  It's no wonder people dub Las Vegas as Sin City.  But I challenge you to look outside the neon signs, plastic surgery, and 24-hour breakfasts and into the community.  Jesus, being fully God and fully man, could have spent His time here on earth in the presence of ANYONE...religious leaders, aristocrats, the kingly, the dignified, the upright, the sophisticated, the "worthy", and the list goes on and on.  Who was drawn to Jesus, whose table did He sit at?  Jesus made company with the tax collectors, the sinners, the thieves and adulterers.  He revealed Himself to the wicked and the lost.  He gave strength to the weak and hope to the hopeless.  He made the poor rich and the rich poor.  He was a "refuge for His people" (Joel 3:16) and "a shade from the heat" (Isa. 25:4).  He called himself the "defender of the widows" (Ps. 68:5) and "Father to the fatherless" (Ps. 68:5).  Jesus could have rightfully kept company with any person at all, regardless of who it was, none of us were worthy of his divine grace and glory.  Rather than sitting with proud, wealthy leaders and public icons, Jesus came into the world and sought out the ones who needed him most. JESUS SAVED THE SINNERS SO THAT HE COULD CALL THEM SAINTS.   So where is He in this city called Sin? Jesus is an omnipresent Lord, but its stands to reason that if Jesus kept company with sinners, and called them saints in His name, that He is ever-present in this city full of Saints....rightfully re-dubbed: Saint City. 

"The law was brought in so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more." -Romans 5:20